Lumpy

06/29/2012 09:45

Ahh yes, no trip to Poland would be complete without mentioning lumpy (plural). These are the drunks who hang out in front of convenience stores and other places where there’s alcohol for sale. I used to be afraid of them, because they smell pretty bad and tend to ask you for money to buy some “chleb” (bread). That’s code, of course. Actually, one time before I was hip to the drunk scene, a lumek (singular?) came up to me in Warsaw when I was eating my breakfast, and asked for some “chleb.” I, naturally, ripped off a hunk of the fresh bread that I was eating and gave it to him. He just looked at me, stunned, and didn’t know what to do. So, he took it and shyly walked away.

One thing about the lumpy in Poland is that they’re often fairly well-mannered (as far as drunks with pee-stained pants begging for your money on the street goes), harmless and pretty much tolerated. I think that it’s a holdover from the old days, when alcoholism was common in at least some, if not many, of the socialist/communist countries. People frequently saw alcoholics as victims of the system. In fact, in Russia for example, authorities sometimes paid workers in vodka. Get them hooked, then they tend to think less when it comes to criticizing the government.

Anyway, in Poland they usually cut their lumpy a break. I remember seeing two passersby stop, take a look at each other, and walk over to a passed out drunk, pick him up, and put him on a park bench. In all actuality, you’re not going to see a ton of lumpy around town, no more than in any other city, but just in case you yourself pass out somewhere, isn’t it nice to know that someone might pick you up and put you on a bench, and maybe even cover you with a newspaper? :-)

Don't miss the guy on the right.